When you’re married, divorce is always on the table. Ok, it’s probably not. Cos your relationship is different… until all the stories you hear from those around you, at all those parties you got to, every weekend, start to sound like yours.
How do I bring this back to the band? We’ve broken up a few times. The first time lasted over a decade. The next big one, it was a few months. There are break ups that might have lasted a few minutes too. We’ll probably break up some more. I hold my hands up, we’re no different. We’re just like any other band.
Being in a band is a space where you’re going to be vulnerable with eachother – you’re creating and sharing. You’re laying yourself bare – figuratively speaking. You’re telling eachother to do better. You’re striving to do better cos those around you are getting better. You’re constantly looking for assurance. But you also don’t want to be needy. You hate needy people, it’s not cool. And you need to be cool, cos you’re in a band.
Then you realise, sooner rather than later, if possible, that it’s all bullshit really. That being in a band is about trust. Cos we’re all songwriters. We just do it with different tools. And letting someone else have their way is ok, cos it’s not about it being the best song, in your opinion. Right now, it’s more important that they’re right in this instance.
When you actually think about making it, it’s a horrible dream really. People get fucked up. I would most certainly get fucked up. Making it actually means making something. It’s the process of making something. Creating. That feeling you get when you’ve strung a bunch of notes, chords and words together in the right order. Nothing else gives us bigger balls than that feeling.
And when you’re in a room together and the noises that happen, most of them coming from the four of you but some of them from another dimension or another entity contributing to make you all feel the same thing… Fucking hell, you’ve made it together.
Anyway. Listen. If divorce is the death of a marriage… I’ll have a pint of reincarnation please.
