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I stood about an inch taller than her. Just enough for her to look up at me on the tube. She was a woman. Her long eye lashes hid her big eyes, but when they got through, they grabbed me and seemingly changed colour. When we found a seat, she planted a kiss on my […]

They got married really young. I don’t even think they were teenagers. Dad didn’t know what he was doing. He had woke up at 7 years old in his dad’s arms under the stars one day to find that his dad had died in his sleep. He went to work the next day. And he […]

Sarb sat down in front of the amp. I sat there in front of the Mac. The recording session on the screen. Empty cups of tea from the week scattered across the tea-stained desk. Lyrics drawn on envelopes. ‘Marriage is fucked innit.’ We spoke for about an hour. This was the ritual. Sarb picked up […]

Rav opened his front door. We exchanged ‘What’s up’s’ and then he called me over with a grunt. ‘Lift me up and pull me Ranj’. His directness is jarring. There is no please. I do as he directs. ‘Lift me up AND PULL ME Ranj…’ ‘Rav you’re directions are rubbish, I’m gonna throw you on […]

Sarb had the key. I knew it. Sarb knew it. Even Tom knew it. The skag walking past with his rottweiler knew it. Zaki had left to go and do fun stuff by this time. But he would have known it too. Tom: ‘Where’s my key?’Sarb: ‘I dunno.’Tom: ‘Where’s my key, Sarb?’Sarb: ‘I dunno, man.’Tom: […]

‘You know your Prem Uncle? Him and his family helped me so much when we came to this country. Even my own flesh and blood haven’t helped me like this.’ Dad told me this story a few times a day. The Alzheimers had been diagnosed not long ago. He didn’t understand it. Not sure he […]

Tom’s replacement hadn’t worked out. We played our last gig and that was that. Then there was space. A lot of space.  Zaki I think was excited about a life. He was young and was excited about what was next. We lost touch for a while.  A depression that I had tried to suppress for many years […]

Drunk after watching the footy with my nephews and dad downstairs, I zig-zagged upstairs with an envelope in my hand with the words ‘rocks in your head’ scribbled on. The English translation of a scalding from mum tickled me. I switched on the tele, and on it, Hitchcock’s ‘Vertigo’ triggered my routine. I snatched at […]

‘Lads I got a new a song’. It was Come In Me. It was special. Before this Sarb had presented songs like Footsteps. This came out of nowhere really. He told us it was a mad song, and it was only two chords. And it was. And it was. A song that was authentic. That […]

Tom worked a full time job. I worked part time. When I worked at all. At the hospital doing an admin job. But we did the band full time. I called him 5-10 times a day to discuss the band. We would talk about how to break through every day. Fine tuning our marketing. Discussing […]